http://dxnttellmewhattodo.tumblr.com/post/95037720960/i-once-told-a-joke-about-a-straight-person-they →

dxnttellmewhattodo:

I once told a joke about a straight person.
They came after me in droves.

Each one singing the same:

Don’t fight fire with fire.

*

What they mean is: Don’t fight fire with anything.

Do not fight fire with water.

Do not fight fire with foam.

Do not evacuate the people.

Do not sound…

spoken-not-written:

jawngreenyoukiller:

howimetyoureffingmother:

favourite person in the world.

^

everybodyone

(Source: nph-burtka)

 

Teaching kids to give handjobs since the 90s

whyiseveryonefalling:

scotchcarousel:

the-funkiest-penguin:

friendly-pedophile:

bellamyyoung:

yourgayfriend:

emisummerful:

image

You know you’re a lesbian when: You put your finger in it instead.

image

OH GOD, I ONLY EVER PUT MY FINGERS IN THEM. 

I did both…image

i did both. i also bent it, what does that tell me now

You kinky son of a bitch.

I used to step on mine until they exploded.

image

(Source: manda)

super-wolves:

REMEMBER THAT EPISODE WHERE REESE THOUGHT MALCOLM WAS GAY AND MALCOLM THOUGHT REESE WAS GAY AND THEY TALKED ABOUT IT BUT LIKE THIS I’M CRYING

http://hannegretherogne.tumblr.com/post/91190861014/mr-weasley-started-up-the-engine-and-they-drove →

hannegretherogne:

"Mr. Weasley started up the engine and they drove out of the back yard, Harry turning to get a last look at the house. He barely had time to wonder when he’d see it again when they were back. George had forgot his box of Filibuster Fireworks. Five minutes after that, they skidded to a halt so…

sherlockedbadwolf24601:

Basically JK Rowling is so good that she can drop a Harry Potter short story with no publicity or previous announcement and within hours the entire world has read it

and if that’s not power i don’t know what is

blastortoise:

I never tell people off the bat that I’m gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like “you know I’m gay right?” And watch the look of terror on their face.

(Source: iheartgot)